Rob's story

Rob, 23-year, who spent nine months at our Daniel Yorath House service, writes about his experience of rehabilitation.

Coming from home and being only 18 when I had my head injury, it was a bit of a shock to me to be thrust into the rehabilitation program at Daniel Yorath House (DYH).

A routine must be followed at all times, from getting up in the morning to going out shopping and therapy sessions to the time you go to bed. The atmosphere is quite relaxed as long as the routine is followed. It could be likened a little bit to school in terms of discipline and attitude, and the structure of the day.

From having a set time for tea breaks, lunch and dinner, to the way in which the staff interacts with the clients, all for the positive in the long run I have found. Helping to establish good behavioural habits.

Some people hate it and others thrive on it, eventually most people begin to understand what it’s all about to some degree.

I think I fully grasp the concept of it all, although every now and then I notice that I’m thinking differently and have a more responsible rounded attitude towards daily tasks and life in general at DYH, than I did a few weeks previously.

The company from other clients can be quite varied as there is naturally a wide range of people here, this helps at times as it gives you insight into your behaviour but can be a source of tension for some.

What changes I have noticed In myself

I have noticed a massive change in my whole personality since starting rehab at DYH. Its very hard to put into words without sounding cliché, but I do feel like a different person.

I can’t really remember the Rob I was before that clearly. I think this is because before I started here I wasn’t really sure of anything at all.

I used to think at a very low level just getting through the day. I was very selfish and angry most of the time and very unreasonable to live with.

I wasn’t aware of this at the time, much like when a child thinks that they have been “hard done by” and nothing is fair.

It was as if I had lost my sense of morals in terms of what was acceptable and normal behaviour. I’m not really sure when it “clicked” and I became aware of how negative my behaviour was, but it was the largest step forward I have made to become aware, it allows you to change.

I’m not perfect but then nobody is I suppose. But I can see things for what they are now, and I don’t hurt people, I don’t have expectations that aren’t fair on others and take responsibility for all my actions.

I’ve grown up and being at DYH has triggered a natural maturity I knew was there, and my physical behaviour matches my emotional thoughts. I feel a wider range of emotions like a “normal” person, and can express them to people so I come across as the pleasant person I am.

I don’t give impression of having extreme opinions anymore. I don’t have to keep explaining that some of my stuff is because of my head injury and expect people to just put up with it because of this. It’s my problem and only I can deal with it.

I can better judge when not to say something that is inappropriate and might offend or hurt someone. I used to do this a lot and couldn’t understand what I was doing wrong but I can now.

I don’t feel frustrated anymore that I just can’t be who I am inside outside to others. If I do something wrong I’m quick to rectify it, face up to it and take responsibility.

I offer to do things for people instead of asking them to do things for me. I can now be trusted to do the right thing in difficult situations and not cause problems for others.

I like being with people and finding out about them and what they do. I put others first and take them into account and don’t assume I know best.

I have more energy and can therefore do the things I want to and not regret missed opportunities or feel upset about letting others down and them being angry with me. This makes me happier too

I am more organised, I can sort my own problems and arrangements without others help and am on time. I can also think “faster” than I used to.

I don’t feel sorry for myself anymore, I do feel sadness that the old days are over but that’s part of life.

People who come into contact with someone who has a head injury often misinterpret and come to a conclusion that is based on an assumption of personality, which is fully understandable. I suppose at the end of the day I feel I’ve changed from a carefree selfish child to a responsible adult, who is a bit unsure of things still but I can see a path for me.

Things I am looking forward to In the future

It’s quite difficult to look forward to things when the future is so uncertain. I’ve never lived away from home so it will be strange when I have my own place in a month or two. But I’m sure based on living at the bungalow at Daniel Yorath House it will be a positive experience.

It will be especially nice to have a place of my own and I can invite people over and make them dinner and show off the cooking and organising skills I’ve learnt, and also to show them the real Rob.

I’m also looking forward to starting some kind of voluntary work at some point quite soon, but not too soon.

I used to shy away from people but now I’m a lot more “sociable” and I enjoy the company of others even if I don’t know them very well like I used to be before my head injury.

And I’m definitely eager to start a college course of some description and meet some nice people and possibly start a relationship at some point.

Most of all I’m looking forward to when my parents can be proud of me. I think I’ve surprised them how well I’m doing and I would love to do some things for them instead of the other way round how its always been, especially since my car accident.

Practical things I have learned

I shall list these…

The three most important things people should know about me

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